Sean was born in a subway station in Chicago and left for dead. Later in life, Sean would realize this was because of two things.:
1.) The strange arrangement of his eyes on his face and how droopy they were. 2.) Sean’s parents had a “300” style Spartan mentality with regards to keeping children.
Anyway… a group of crack fiend hobos took him in and taught him the way of the streets! He starred in the now banned “Bumfights Jr.” at the age of 7 where he was filmed in a Royal Rumble style fight with an 80 year old Veteran on PCP, a rabid pit bull, Andy Dick, and a paraplegic hooker with a can of mace. Sean won, of course and later on it was his testimony that led to the capture and incarceration of Bumfights Producer Ryan McPherson.
The media attention around the trial skyrocketed Sean to media glory. He was offered a job hosting, “So You Think You Can Dance Smarter Than a 12th Grader” on FOX which was a hit for one season, but as soon as it failed, Sean fell into a deep depression. Drug addiction, “Handy-J’s” behind local convenience stores, and herpes all took their toll on Sean for the next 6 years until his long lost brother, Bryan saw him on a park bench with a needle in his arm, a soda can in his ass and barely any pulse.
Bryan rushed Sean to his house, not even knowing that he was related to him and nursed him back to health out of the kindness of his heart. Bryan’s parents came over to meet the man that Bryan had taken in, and as soon as they saw his eyes, they screamed in horror, “Its the BOY! The BOY we left in the subway! He lives! Kill HIM!” Sean fought with the strength of a thousand men and shredded his parents to pieces. Bryan was needless to say taken aback. He knew why Sean did what he did, but he couldn’t let it slide. He taught Sean how to use a Macbook and he is now an indentured servant, toiling away in the dull, depressing glow of a laptop screen until Bryan releases him from bondage.
Well… that was fun. But for real…
Sean lives in beautiful Durango, Colorado and when he’s not editing, he’s helping run a world-class, highly decorated brewpub. Sean’s main passions besides beer culture and Nerdonomy are movies, Batman, ice hockey and sarcastic comments.
Please send him insults as he feeds on them like a rabid wolf.