NERDONOMY
NERDONOMY
Movie still from Mission: Impossible 2

T**ties. Explosions. Tom Cruise’s Face.

In this episode, we welcome back Nerds on Film co-founder Dave McGuire!  First, we catch up.  Dave goes on to tell us that he’s been working on a high-profile movie, but can’t say which one. Then we talk about recent movies we’ve seen. Finally, we launch into our main topic, in which we each share our picks for movies that had amazing trailers, but didn’t deliver with audiences. Bad movies. Good trailers. Fun episode.

Also, you can check out Dave’s professional IMDb profile here! But, before you dig too deep, it still doesn’t reveal which movie he’s working on. But don’t worry, we will tell you all eventually.

 

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A Letter to Ben Affleck

Ben-

You’ve done it again. You’ve created waves of hatred and distrust in the social media sphere all by accepting a job. Within moments of your news, anti-Affleck Facebook pages cropped up, Twitter exploded with hashtags and cruel words; memes were immediately created depicting you and Damon as the dynamic duo (the internet can be so cruel). Likely you’ve seen none of these, or if you have you just said, “Fuck you, I’m Batman” (I’m genuinely hoping for the latter).

While I can only speak for myself, the rage you’ve read was something that I felt. Now was it really “rage?” No. Nothing close. Why? Cause I have a fucking life. I’m not gonna shit a brick just because a new actor is playing one of my favorite heroes. Am I surprised that Holden fucking McNeil is going to be the new caped crusader?

Yes. But honestly it was a knee jerk reaction. I was suddenly hit by the old Affleck. The Gigli, Daredevil Affleck. The Affleck that became an adjective to describe when something and someone was just plain terrible. Don’t get me wrong, I loved you in Chasing Amy but everything else, in my opinion, couldn’t live up to Holden. I was frightened to my very core. Imagine the Christian Bale throat cancer voice explaining why “Gigli” rhymes with “really.” It’s horrible Ben. It’s horrible.

Then I realized you aren’t the same man any more. You showed those fucking nay-sayers that you aren’t just the boy from Boston who happened to strike gold with his first screenplay. With Argo, The Town, and Gone, Baby, Gone, you’ve shown that you are able to craft a story at the perfect pace and deliver wonderful cinema. You’re on fire, Ben!

So I bet you’re thinking to yourself, “If I’ve been able to overcome all the odds, and bring home another oscar, then why am I getting so much flak?” I think I have answer for you Ben. It’s not you. It’s the project.

People are afraid that DC is jumping the gun and just trying to catch up to Marvel. That’s what we, the fans, are afraid of. That’s what I was afraid of. We all remember what happens when you try to cram too much into a film (Spiderman 3, I’m looking at you). We’re just afraid that two of the best icons in comic history are just being pushed together without any real concrete story and just for gimmick alone. Yet the one things that we are forgetting is that you, Ben, can act.

You can give us the depth that is required for the tortured Bruce Wayne; the wisdom that is instilled in the Dark Knight. You’re an onion Ben. Peel away and show the internet what you can do with your performance.

I look forward to seeing you in this project and can’t wait to see what you bring to the part. Just don’t bring nips to the suit.

Sincerely,

David McGuire

 

The 5 Summer Movies That I AM DYING TO SEE!

Note: This article contains explicit language.

#5 – Star Trek: Into Darkness

CLICK HERE TO WATCH TRAILER!

“Only number 5!?” cries every nerd worldwide. Yes, just number 5 but it’s a short list. Abrams’ Star Trek reboot in 2009 was, to be cliched as hell, A REVELATION! It was so good, I saw it five times in the theaters, then bought the Blu-Ray on release day. I can never get enough of it. It is truly a sci-fi masterpiece.

Now, the sophomore Trek movie… I have some reservations. The trailers look amazing, however they reveal almost nothing about the plot. As my good friend Dan said to me right after we saw the first teaser, “It looks nothing like a Star Trek movie.” That is my first reservation. Into Darkness does not look like any Star Trek movie, including the last one, which can be a really good thing, or a really bad thing. The picture could either delve deeper than we imagined possible into the Stark Trek universe and blow us all away, or it will stray so far from what has been tried and true that it loses not only the hardcore Trekkies, but the new fans as well.

The second reservation I have is that Abrams ditched the Star Trek franchise to direct Star Wars: Episode VII. How great can this Star Trek sequel be if Abrams is so willing to leave the series behind? This coupled with rumors that he butted heads with Paramount during production of Into Darkness lead me to believe that it could be less awesome than all the hype says it will be.

I remain optimistic, though. These reservations I have and the vague but flashy trailers only make me want to see the movie more. I need to know if it’s good. I need to know if it’s bad. I just plain NEED to see it on May 17th!

#4 – The Hangover Part III

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE NEW TRAILER!

The Hangover was one of the funniest movies that I have ever seen.  The Hangover II was a quickly made and poorly thought out sequel that I forgot about 30 seconds after watching it. Now, having been burned so badly by Part II, why would I give a shit about a third? The most recently released trailer is the answer to that question.

Everything in the trailer calls back to the first installment. It’s almost as if Todd Phillips and Warner Bros have forgotten that Part II even existed. Superb! I forgot it too, but not how much I felt cheated when I spent hard earned American dollars to see it. These guys have a lot of making up to do, so they better have some extremely hilarious tricks up their sleeves.

That’s right, ladies and gents. The man, the myth, the legend… John Motherfucking Goodman! I’m sold as of this point. Goodman plays the proverbial “bad guy” in the third and final chapter to the newly dubbed “Wolfpack Trilogy.” Any movie that John has touched recently has either been good or great so hopes are high for May 24th’s epic finale.

Speaking of Wolfpacks and epic finales, that is exactly the kind of terminology that is selling me and a bunch of other Hangover fans.  Plastered all over the posters and the trailers are references to “The Wolfpack” and “The End.” as if a legend as great as The Dark Knight’s is coming to a close. Finality… I love that shit like Lindsay Lohan loves coke-fueled gangbangs. They could come out with a trailer for a new Daredevil movie WITH BEN AFFLECK AS DAREDEVIL STILL… and as long as it ended with something like “THE SPELLBINDING CONCLUSION TO THE DAREDEVIL SAGA,” I’d be there with bells on.

#3 – Pacific Rim

 

 CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE TRAILER!

I am, like many of my nerd brothers and sisters, enamored with giant robots. It started with the Transformers cartoons that I watched as a child and continued as I played the bad ass MechWarrior games on my computer or console. (They now have an Online Game… which rules.) I even enjoyed the hospital fire of a film ROBOT JOX, despite it having a terrible story with laughable dialogue. All it needed was giant robots.

Thankfully, Michael Bay no longer has the giant robot movie market cornered. With Guillermo del Toro directing and co-writing the screenplay for Pacific Rim, we’re sure to have a film with meaningful character development and astutely written dialogue amidst the earth-shattering special effects. The same cannot be said for the Transformers films. I love them to death for my own reasons, but the CGI is the only true star of those movies.

Don’t think for a second that I forgot that Pacific Rim is ALSO a monster movie. I adore giant monsters only slightly less than I do giant robots so naturally, my nerd boner stood at full attention once it realized it had a two-for-one on its hands. Yes… it has hands.  Hands that will no doubt be clapping on July 11th when this movie comes out.

#2 – Iron Man 3

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